Episode 11: Cloud Outage

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Zhanalytics

Brooding stares: 5

Intense Eye Contact: 0

Facial Twitch: 1

Fist Clench: 0

 

Oh, shit, Lan Xichen really is going to die, isn't he? 

 

Aw, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are back at Lotus Pier and everyone seems happy to see them. It's all going to be in flames before this episode is done, isn't it? 

 

It's the terrifying Lady Jiang. Seriously, half the villains in this show don't get entrances like this. Oh, she's pissed. And there's some resentment of Wei Wuxian's mother there. Damn, Cangse Sanren got around! Why can't we have a TV show about her? And Baoshan Sanren, and Lan Yi. 

 

(It's not that I dislike all the pretty pretty boys, you understand. I'd just like a distribution of pretty across the gender spectrum.)

 

Staring contest between Wen Chao and Lan Zhan. 

 

"What's worst is your patronizing tone." Lan Zhan hasn't said anything! He is the only man on earth capable of having a patronizing tone without saying a word. 

 

Okay, Cloud Recesses is being invaded and Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are meditating. 

 

Oh, Lan Qiren doesn't look well. That's more than a delicate trickle of blood. 

 

Now they are arguing over who saves the clan library. I love you, Lan Clan! 

 

It's Lan Zhan to the rescue with the Chord Assassination technique! Yes!

 

And Su She spills the beans about the headband granting access to the cave, and Lan Xichen leaving with the library. You little rat, Su She.  

 

Is it just me, or was Lan Zhan's defeat there a little anti-climactic? I wonder if he's up to something? Like, is that not the Yin Iron he's dropped, but a cleverly disguised decoy? I mean, if it were Wei Wuxian here, it would definitely be a cleverly disguised lump of rabbit poop, but that's less in character for Lan Zhan. 

 

Meanwhile, at Lotus Pier, an archery contest. Everyone is happy that the Young Masters are so good at archery because surely they will impress everyone in Qishan. Pffft. Qishan has Wen Ning. You will never outshoot My Cinnamon Roll in Black. 

 

Wei Wuxian in Qishan, looking around all, "Where's Lan Zhan?" You know he only agreed to come along because he figured Lan Zhan would be there. 

 

"I feel there's something wrong here." Dude, the place looks like Triumph of the Will being filmed in Mordor, I don't know why you would think anything might be wrong. 

 

And everyone looks at Lan Zhan as he walks in. My brain is in the habit of playing Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" over every slow motion shot of Lan Zhan, which is...really...not helpful. 

 

And we end the episode with Lan Xichen not dead and Lotus Pier not in flames! Yet.