Though it's not as widely documented a technique as jump starting or push starting a car with a dead battery, repeatedly cranking the starter and muttering, "Please please please just start!" actually worked for me twice this morning. Call it plead starting.
I now have a shiny new battery, and with any luck will not need to employ this technique again.
I now have a shiny new battery, and with any luck will not need to employ this technique again.
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