Episode 18: Not Modeling Ideal Sibling Relationships

 Zhanalytics

Brooding stares: 1

 

One! One precious brooding stare! 

 

Step one to restoring a golden core is apparently catching a chicken. Chicken soup for the soul, I guess? 

 

And then Wei Wuxian finds a dead body in the field. It's Song Lan. No, not dead, but his eyes have been put out. That's all we need, a freakin eyeball monster. 

 

Everyone's favorite psychopath is at it again. 

 

Dude, have you known where Baoshan Sanren was all along? 

 

"Is that no matter what I say, you'll reply 'okay'?" Jiang Cheng forces himself to not reply, "Okay!"

 

"Wen Qing, can I have some tranquilizing powder?" She already has it ready. She totally knows the score. 

 

Yanli, I love you, but you are totally the one who would hide a zombie bite. Stop pretending you're okay when you're not. 

 

"Hey bro, I made you your favorite soup!" "Hey sis, I just drugged you!" 

 

OMG, the flashback of them all as kids is too cute. Yanli is the best big sis. 

 

"The three of us must never be parted." Yeah, too bad your brothers are little shits. 

 

"If you see Xingchen, just say...." I really wanted someone to say, "Boring!"  but Song Lan just says, "Never mind."  Clearly Song Lan and Xingchen have their own code. 

 

There's this whole trope of people crying in their sleep here. 

 

Jiang Cheng is all, "kthxbye, Wen Qing," and practically runs away. Awkward. While Baoshan Sanren is restoring his golden core or whatever is going to happen, perhaps she can give him some flirting lessons, too? 

 

It's called the Sunshot Campaign...because we shot the sun. Lady Wang was totally right about the symbolism of that kite. 

 

Wait, wait...those white robes and that slow camera pan can only mean....LAN ZHAN!!!! 

 

Jiang Cheng is like, "Really? Baoshan Sanren lives here?" Wei Wuxian, 

"Would I lie to you?" Not to put too fine a point on it, but...yes. 

 

Yay! Baoshan Sanren! Please don't fuck this up, Jiang Cheng. 

 

Wait, is that really Baoshan Sanren, or is this an elaborate ruse to get Jiang Cheng to go along with something he'd never go along with, and that's actually Wen Qing in a veil or something? But then was Song Lan in on the plan? I'm confused. 

 

Guess we'll find out next time whether Jiang Cheng gets his golden core back... 

Episode 19: My Boyfriend's Back and You're Gonna Be In Trouble

 Zhanalytics

Brooding Stares: 7

Intense Eye Contact: 0

Facial Twitch: 4

Fist Clench: 0

 

Wei Wuxian is holding his stomach. Is that where his golden core is? 

 

Wei Wuxian goes to a tea house, and belatedly realizes that he chose the week that the Asshole Convention came to Yiling: There's a bunch of Wen underlings. (Now dubbed Wunderlings!) And Wen Zhuliu. And Wen Chao and Wang Langjiao. Wei Wuxian suddenly decides that he'd much prefer a cup of coffee, but since it won't be introduced to China for centuries yet, he's out of luck. 

 

Jiang Cheng is having a flashback to his childhood. Aw, the kids are cute, and everyone seems so happy and...oh, god, why are her eyes bleeding? Then Wen Zhuliu appears and jams his hand into Jiang Cheng's solar plexus and he wakes up. 

 

And he has a golden core! I still have no idea what Wei Wuxian did, but yay!

 

Wang Langjiao really is a piece of work, isn't she? What's that in the bag Wei Wuxian has at his belt? It's giving off little demonic smoke curls. Instead of having Wen Zhuliu melt his core, they take Wei Wuxian flying. 

 

Jiang Cheng arrives back in Yiling just in time to hear gossip about the Wen clan being there. 

 

They're flying over the Burial Mounds now. Oh no, Second Young Master Asshole, please don't throw me in the briar patch of demonic spiritual energy!

 

On the other hand, I don't think Wei Wuxian thought to bring a parachute...oh, wait. My bad, he's being buoyed up by a bunch of curling black smoke. Temporarily. He hits the ground pretty hard. 

 

Meanwhile, Wen Qing is getting thrown in prison. Nooo! What did they do to Wen Ning? "I didn't tell them anything!" Aw, kiddo. 

 

Wei Wuxian hears a bunch of voices calling his name. Aw, that's Lan Zhang saying, "Wei Ying"!

 

Wei Wuxian grabs the freaky sword that he found in the Danger Turtle cave, which is mysteriously floating in mid-air surrounded by swirling black smoke. And then...

 

THREE MONTHS LATER....

A bunch of Wunderlings are getting drunk and bragging about what happened to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. Completely unaware of the avenging angel in white sneaking up on them. 

 

Yes, it's Lan Zhan! And Jiang Cheng, and a bunch of Lan juniors. 

 

Oh, Wang Langjiao keeps having nightmares about Wei Wuxian? Good. 

 

They've found Wei Wuxian's sword! I don't think you can make intense eye contact with a sword, but Lan Zhan is trying. 

 

Jin Fancypants goes to help Yanli out of the wagon, and she totally ignores his hand. Yeah, it's not still awkward between them at all. Also, he still can't wait to hand her over to her brother. Clearly, there are no wandering immortals handing out flirting lessons. 

 

Nie Mingjue is still...intense. I like the way his sword rattles as if it's hungry for blood. 

 

Jin Fancypants hasn't seen Meng Yao, huh. Wonder what Meng Yao is up to? 

 

And Wang Langjiao opens a box and finds two eyeballs in it. Then she pokes it with a stick and its a bunch of costume jewelery. And uh oh...cliffhanger.