Episode 31: A Really Really Unfunny Thing Happened on the Way to Lanling

[wshaffer]

 Zhanalytics

Brooding Stares: 0?

Intense Eye Contact: 0?

Facial Twitch: 0?

Fist Clench: 0?

 

I'm pretty sure I blew the Zhanalytics on this one, because Lan Zhan's only appearance in this episode is right after the biggest "OH SHIT" moment to happen in several episodes and honestly, I was too shook to pay much attention to Lan Zhan's face. Which seriously tells you something about the magnitude of my shookedness, because normally at least once an episode I have to rewind a scene with Lan Zhan in it because I'm so busy watching his face I forgot to read the subtitles. 

 

Meanwhile in the burial mounds, there's a bumper crop of lotus. Yuan tries to eat one of the seeds (because Yuan relates to everything by either trying to eat it or hug it). Wei Wuxian tells him not to eat the seeds, but carry them for protection. 

 

Wen Ning shows up with a letter inviting Wei Wuxian to meet his nephew. 

 

There's a controversial idea involving the Jin clan building lookouts. Why is this controversial? It was Jin Guangyao's idea. It must be terrible. 

 

Wei Wuxian buys a tassel. But his real gift is a demon-protection bracelet. Which Wen Ning can't touch. 

 

So they're off to Jin Rulan's one-month party, where absolutely nothing is going to go wrong. Until an arrow flies at Wei Wuxian. Oh, good catch, Ghost General. Oh look, it's a whole bunch of Jin clan folks on their way to murder Wei Wuxian. 

 

Yikes. What happened to Zixun? The Hundred Holes Curse, apparently. Wei Wuxian is all, "Who the hell did that? It wasn't me!" Zixun is unconvinced. Somebody is messing around, though. 

 

Uh, oh. Ghost General unleashed. 

 

In the middle of the fight, Jin Zixun gets hold of Jin Ling's baby present. Give it back, you brat!

 

Zixuan arrives to save the day. Standoff. Meanwhile, Wen Ning is walloping a score or so of miscellaneous retainers. Wait, is that someone in Lan Clan dress in the back there? 

 

Zixun destroys the bracelet. You brat! 

 

Wen Ning! What the fuck did you just do? You killed the wrong Jin! Actually, no, I don't think killing the other one now makes matters better. 

 

Back at Carp tower, Lan Zhan is looking for Jin Guangyao, wanting to know where the other Lan Clan folks went with Zixun. Oh, that was someone in Lan Clan dress with Zixun. I guess Brattiest Jin rounded up a cross-clan posse for his Wei Wuxian hunting. 

 

Back in Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian is questioning his life choices. And then Wen Qing stabs him with a needle. Because decisions need to be made, and Wei Wuxian isn't being consulted. Wen Ning and Wen Qing are going to give themselves up to the Jin Clan for him. Aaaagh. 

 

Wei Wuxian wants to find the person who cast the spell. Which would involve getting everyone to strip naked for inspection. I think that this is a BRILLIANT idea, but Wen Qing is less convinced. I mean, she has a point about logistics and practicalities and blah blah blah, but it's a hell of a missed bet not to at least try to get everyone to take their clothes off. 

 

Wait, is the whole Wen Clan going to Carp Tower? Even little Yuan? Noooo. Not Yuan!!! 

 

Wie Wuxian wakes up and finds everyone gone, and heads off to Carp Tower. Will he arrive too late? 

 

Comments

[teleidoplex]

Sadly, the watchtowers are the one really good thing Jin Guangyao does. The big cultivation sects are... a bit inconsistent on sending out help with supernatural threats (which is what they're supposed to do. I think they make their money by charging people or maybe taxes? They're basically the mafia), and the smaller cultivation sects don't have enough people and are also pretty stingy about helping if you can't pay. Rogue cultivators make up the difference. Like Wei Wuxian's parents. And remember what happened to them? Yeah.

So the watchtowers are set up and manned by all the big and small sects, and they have to help with local threats or call in people to deal with if the threat is too big.

And... I will wait until after you've finished watching to let you know how it ends up going with all that.

Anyways, RIP Jin Zixuan. You actually ended up being too good for this world. Because this world is cruel, and so is MXTX.