Episode 45: You Thought You Knew How Terrible Jin Guangyao Was, But There's More

[wshaffer]

 Zhanalytics

Brooding Stares: 1

Intense Eye Contact: 2

Facial Twitch:

Fist Clench:

 

This is like the end scene of an Agatha Christie novel. Wei Wuxian as Hercule Poirot.

 

Aha, they found the missing pages from the Collection of Turmoil in Carp Tower. That's a bit of a giveaway. 

 

Uh oh. Su she spits on the magic circle, destroying it,  and disappears. Oh! The ghost-faced man actually is Su She. I was sort of right about that and then talked myself out of it. How did Su She actually learn how to cultivate, I wonder? 

 

Meanwhile Wen Ning is out there holding off all the puppets by himself. He can't hold them off! Maybe someone can give him a sword he can actually draw? Sizhui is not going to let him fight alone. Neither is Jin Ling. Aw, Jiang Cheng hands over Zidian to Jin Ling. 

 

Wei Wuxian draws a lure flag on himself in his own blood. Jingyi wants to play too. Of course he does - that's fuckin' metal. 

 

Wei Wuxian plays the flute to draw the puppets and Lan Zhan slaughters them. Everyone else escapes from the cave. Yao Clan leader says they should find a battery charging station. I mean, recharge their spiritual power. 

 

Sizhui runs back to the cave. And as Wei Wuxian passes out, he calls Sizhui, "Yuan". Wen Ning thinks, hmmmm...

 

Everybody's getting on boats, and apparently Sizhui is prone to seasickness. "How can you get seasick when you're not a northerner?" How indeed? 

 

Ghost General arrives to freak out all the juniors. They still haven't figured him out, have they? 

 

Wen Ning asks Sizhui his name. And who named him. "I think it's from my parents." Only Sizhui could say that without it sounding like, "DUH!!!"

 

"Can I call you Yuan?" Yes, I am crying right now. 

 

Wen Ning gives Sizhui a little toy butterfly. And it matches one that he already has. 

 

Jin Ling is super mad now. He can't really deal with Wen Ning showing so much humanity. The cognitive dissonance is strong in this one. Now Jin Ling starts to cry. Poor little Legolas.

 

Oh, great, Jiang Cheng is here. Surely his emotional sensitivity and way with words will fix everything. (Sometimes I think that if Jiang Cheng and Zewu Jun had just switched places, this entire story would have turned out so much better for many of those involved.)

 

Zizhen is such a delightful smartass. 

 

They arrive at Lotus Pier. Wen Ning says he'll wait outside. Aw, that's not fair. Sizhui offers to keep him company. I cry again. 

 

I guess Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan have to sit on the steps until Jiang Cheng invites them in? 

 

Jiang Cheng returns with two women. One is wearing a veil. 

 

Sisi (the veiled one) tells the story of how a vengeful merchant's wife cut her face with a knife. This is supposed to have made her horrifically ugly, but nah.   

 

So Sisi and a bunch of her fellow prostitutes are brought someplace creepy. And oh look, it's Xue Yang. He may be dead, but the memory of his psychopathy lives on. And StupidHat. Who has Jin Guangshan tied to a bed. And then I guess...Jin Guangshan is basically fucked to death? Ew, StupidHat, I figured you would poison his tea. Not, whatever the hell this is. I mean, it's an appropriate way for Guangshan to go, but...

 

Sisi was imprisoned, but rescued by a mysterious savior. 

 

Lan Qiren recognizes the other lady. She was Qin Su's maid. She has a story. Oh, does she have a story. Crap, remember when I said that Xue Yang's speech reminded me of Kullervo from the Kalevala and we should all be glad that he didn't have a sister? Well, Jin Guangyao is frankly even more like Kullervo and HE DID HAVE A SISTER. And like Kullervo, he married her. AAAAAAAH! I did not see that coming. 

 

Well, I guess we know why their son had to die.