wshaffer

I met up with an old friend yesterday. Back when we were in junior high, we were Doctor Who fans together when we didn't know any other Doctor Who fans. We'd phone each other up after the episodes aired every Saturday night to share our thoughts. So, when her birthday rolled around in November this year, I sent her a copy of Chicks Dig Time Lords. I wasn't entirely sure what she'd make of it, because, while she still watches the show (and we still exchange our impressions of episodes, mostly over Facebook), she's not really a part of organized fandom.

Happily, she loved the book, and we chatted a lot about it. One thing that I got a big kick out of was her telling me that the book had introduced her to a new term, "gender non-conforming". And that not only had that given her a word to describe her own experience of her gender during her childhood, but also affected the way she saw her son's behavior. (He asked for a Barbie doll for Christmas. She thought, "Fine, he's gender non-conforming," and bought him the Barbie doll. Knowing my friend, I'm pretty sure she would have still bought her son the doll even if she hadn't read Chicks Dig Time Lords, but it clearly meant something to her to have the concept of "gender non-conforming" available.)

It's a neat example of the power of science fiction fandom to inspire discussion. It probably wouldn't have occurred to me to send my friend a scholarly article about gender roles in childhood. Nor am I certain that she would have immediately related to it if I had. But put the same ideas in the context of a fannish memoir about growing up a non-girly Doctor Who fan, and suddenly we're having a conversation that we might not have otherwise had.

From Gawker in response to some silly people trying to make a flap over a J. Crew ad featuring a little boy wearing pink toenail polish.

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable. For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence. For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes. For every girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one. For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem. For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.